November 2012
2 posts
John
John likes Manchester United and Barack Obama. He also likes green, or I think he does, he wears green sandals. Angel likes beer. That’s all I know about him, except that he has a kid and raises pigs or something. This other guy, the loud one, he likes everything I say, so I keep saying amazing things like “Chickens are superstars!” See, worked again, he’s laughing and shaking his head, now...
March 2012
12 posts
2 tags
7 tags
Day 17 - Tannen Baum
Jacob is making paste, a brown vitamin and protein rich paste we bake into hardened semi-sweet biscuits to supplement our meals. They taste like dog treats, but are palatable when dipped in tea.
My mom was a pastry chef, her kitchen a laboratory of equipment, mixers, blenders, processors, jars of labeled ingredients, sacks of flour and sugar. I would sit at the table and watch her make a mess of...
5 tags
Day 16 - Tannen Baum
At the station Jacob pours me a cup of hot tea. We’ve been back for a few hours now, but no one has said a word about the wolves. McMahon and Alonso simply parked their ATVs and hauled the dryshipper and carry cooler off to the lab for processing. Jacob and I briefed Cardinal on the assessment, about the marker reading, the missing collars, the doe carcass, but not the wolves. It’s as...
4 tags
Day 15 - Tannen Baum
Sometimes I pretend to sleep. I don’t want them to know I’m excited, I am in no hurry to wake up. Instead, I wait for Cardinal to roll out of bed, perform his characteristically weird stretching and yawning routine, take forever to find his slippers, and somehow bang and smash his way around making noises no one ever dreamed possible in such a spartan room. No one sleeps past...
5 tags
Day 14 - Noticed
I just bought a Barbie. I don’t know why I keep buying Barbies, I’m addicted. I don’t play with Barbies, I just buy them and then I add the package to my stack in the corner behind the couch. I think the stack must be waist high now. Yeah, definitely waist high. I have lots of Barbies. Barbies and Rolling Rock. Rolling Rock rolling all over the hardwood floors. Has this...
Day 13 - Bring him home
Get out, get outta here, please! I always shut my eyes and look at my feet when I hear the crack of a bat and the arching white ball head towards center field. Clapping and cheering engulf me on the bleachers.
“What a catch!”
“Yay!” I find myself saying, eyes open, wondering what kind of catch it was. The boys are jogging into the dugout now, the inning over. Only two...
4 tags
Day 12 - Wild Domestics
“Which one do you want?”
“The green one.”
“Cool, here you go.”
“Thanks.”
It is raining, so they are sheltering under some wooden benches that wrap around the hot tub.
“It’s cold!”
“I know. We could open the hot tub cover.”
“No, that’s a pain, and then we’d have to sit in the...
February 2012
28 posts
Day 11 (cont.) - 80,005 Suns
Enough. Basi. Fin. I will not communicate with acorn killers. This was my home but it has become a den of thieves.
On the 20,843th Sun I looked down upon the valley and noticed the fresh shoot of a stranger. My bark still blackened by the flames, I was happy to see some familiar green. But it was not alone. Slowly at first, then more rapidly they emerged, each new shoot ensuring an eventual...
4 tags
Day 11 - The unintended consequences of...
I don’t want to do this today. I really don’t. I don’t want to drive to the Chicago suburbs with a damn dog to someone’s stupid house so they can adopt him. If you want the dog, come pick him up in the City yourself you lazy fat fuckers.
I am hungover today. I should be, it’s Saturday. Too many whiskeys at the Empty Bottle, and too many Old Styles at the Riptide...
Day off - David the Jelly Bean
Once upon a time there was a jellybean named David. He traveled all over the world because he was the prince of all the jellybeans in the world. He wore a red cloak that had a white cross on the back, he wore brown boots, he wore black slacks. He wore a green shirt. He also wore a hat with a feather on it, and he carried a sword. He even had arms and legs. He fought all kinds of battles. ...
4 tags
Day 10 (cont.) - Creator and Destroyer
“God is the biggest Creator. Over the course of 7 days he made a world out of the great nothing, and then was really tired so he rested. Who could blame him. When he awoke on the 8th day, he created little creatures and microbes to clean up his mess. An army of little Destroyers to bring order and equilibrium to his chaos of creations.”
“So what?”
“So, the world...
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Day 10 - 5 Truths
The world is comprised of Creators and Destroyers
Some Creators create more than others
Not all creations are good creations
If A is a Creator and B is a Creator, then together they make a really big mess
Some Destroyers are just the cleaning crews who put the world in order after particularly messy creations
*Day 10 of Where Stories Begin
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Day 9 - Housesitters
We pull into the driveway of a wood-paneled modern home nestled under the redwoods outside of Cascade Canyon.
“Is this it?”
“No, I think its the house in the back.”
So I drive a little further until the driveway ends at a smaller stone-faced cottage with smoke whisping from the chimney. Orange and lemon trees are fruiting in the shared garden space between the cottage...
5 tags
Day 8 - Brokemaster Bill reprise
I can’t find the clubfoot pewter Indian. I bend down to one knee and kneel on the soiled carpet scrap that used to be trousers and crook my neck to look under the dresser. It’s not there. I stand and check the junk drawer again. Af-Rolex, check. Rusted tools, check. Strange coins, check. Crumpled receipts and old photos, check. Clubfoot Indian Brave, missing. Fuck me, I need my...
3 tags
Day 7 - Brokemaster Bill
My dresser has a junk drawer. It’s the top drawer where most people keep their socks and underwear, but since I don’t wear socks or underwear, it’s full of junks. I rarely open this drawer unless I’m adding to the collection, like today. This morning I found a turkey feather while walking the dog and it reminded me of living in Marin, of when feathers were inked and...
3 tags
Day 6 - Kitefest
“Are you sure you’re OK with this?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Nothing is further from the truth.
“Because if you’re not, we don’t have to go.”
“No JoJo, we have to go.” We don’t have to go at all. In fact, I’d rather eat nettles. ”You’ve been flying really hard, and you’re good. It’ll be...
5 tags
Day 5 - Jolene and JoJo
Uninspired. I am so uninspired. JoJo on the other hand is literally flying. Here he comes again.
“Joleeeene!!!!”
He’s doing it again. Hovering. Right in front of my beak. He knows I hate it when he hovers.
“Yes Jojo?” He lands on the madrone branch next to me.
“Hi! Did you see it? Did you?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I...
3 tags
5 tags
Day 4 - Wazungu
The sun woke today calmly, and gave us a gentle orange bath for milking, but now he is furious. Juma kali, kali sana. He pours waves of heat onto the bush, and the sands smolder the soles of our feet as we walk to the shade of the baobab. Like baba, when the sun is angry it is best not to speak, so everyone is quiet. I think about Blue Bar. At Blue Bar they have soda baridi. A Coca would take this...
4 tags
Day 3 - Contours of Global Order
The council has convened, and all are present. Captain Little Beards has the conch.
“I must bring to your attention the issue of negative externalities associated with over-harvesting. Though we are in a year of plenty, the stock must be managed according to the bylaws set forth in the Treaty of Forbes Hill.”
“Here here!” Paws rap on laundry baskets and scratch at the...
4 tags
7 tags
Day 2 - Set the table
Kitchen Character and Why I Hate Ronald Reagan
Four sons. Our family was blessed. If we lived during the Magna Carta and were nobles, we would have been four heirs. Dan would inherit the lands, Mike and I would whore around the countryside seeding the land with our bastards, and Andy would become a monk and wear rough-spun wool, probably the only Wolking who learned to read. If we lived in the...
4 tags
Day 1 - Origins
In the alley behind Hong Kong Chop Suey and the Beverage Center there are two dumpsters, one for cardboard, the other for trash. We jumped off the Bev Center roof into the moldy cardboard pit, and pulled bags of stale fortune cookies from Hong Kong out of the trash. Once we found porn. Entire stacks of it. Cheri, Hustler, and some shit I had never heard of before. We would sit on those...
